Paying Attention

#52essays2017
Week 5

This piece was published in the February issue of the online magazine www.hispanecdotes.com  :)


"There is ecstasy in paying attention" this line in Bird by Bird by Anne Lammot struck me a few days ago as I read it, highlighted it and passed my fingers through it. Over and over again. As I did this, I paid attention to how the line made me feel, the thoughts running through my head, how the highlighted line blurred the rest of the text and stood out in front of me. I went to sleep with that in my mind.

Days have gone by since. Days that would otherwise be full of routine and monotony, had it not been for paying attention. I have been overdosing on paying attention ecstasy. I'm paying attention to people. Especially in the bus, on the way to and from work. What I realized while carefully scrutinizing them is that love is the most salient feature. It pops out like the highlighted line in my book. This realization occurred after the first person I was paying attention to offered her seat to an elderly man, and soon after, a gentleman offered his seat to her.

I observed and said to myself "that alone tells me a lot about them. I wonder what they love. I wonder what love looks like for them" and BAM love was all I saw.

While paying attention I saw mothers with their kids on their laps. Mothers standing and holding onto poles while their small children who didn't even occupy half of the seat journeyed comfortably. I saw a teenager texting the entire ride with a smile on her face that I bet whoever saw her couldn't help but feel her happiness and smile with her. I saw a man with his hands on his face and worried look while rubbing his laps every now and then. I saw a lady leaning her head on the window and looking out dreamily. I saw a couple sitting side by side holding hands and leaning their heads against each other, and another couple who argued on their way down from the bus as if no one was watching. I saw a few bookworms reading 'Choosing Me before We', 'Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix', and a third I couldn't catch. I saw some selfie and mirror lovers, and heard a few singers. One who sang so loud and with so much passion that if he were to be on The Voice, he would definitely have my vote.

In every facial expression, body language, and action I saw, I learned what a small fragment of love looked like for many of them. Love for things such as books and music, romantic love, tender family love, self love, and lack thereof. Although love is deep within us and sometimes secretive, it is also visible.

I saw more than I expected to see. I probably saw what I see all the time, but this time I paid attention. I paid close attention to love.